“Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits — who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
Pastor Venberg at Kevin & Sandy’s church spoke on Psalm 103 the weekend before Thanksgiving. It was really refreshing to consider all of the blessings that God has lavished on my family, particularly with precious Emma. What benefits have you received from God? This passage mentions everything from forgiveness from sins and physical health to good things and renewed youth. God has truly taken me from sin and brokenness, lifted me off a path to an empty, selfish and unfulfilled life and delivered me to a blessed place.
Emma - Smiling
I’d always heard that major life changes, such as getting married or having children, allow you to experience aspects of God’s love that you hadn’t previously. When Ben and I got married, I found this to be true-I was able to see God as my lover and to experience that intimacy with Him now that I had a picture of it here on earth. When Emma was born, this phenomenon occurred again, yet much more drastically. Not only did I have a clearer view of God as my Daddy, I also experienced the power and reality of unconditional love.
There is no one in this world that I have ever loved unconditionally; my love for people has always developed over time. I fell in love with my husband over a four-year period and now love him unconditionally. My love for Julie, my best friend, evolved over time and is now unconditional. With Emma, it was completely different. From the moment she entered this world, my love for her was instantaneously unconditional, something I have never experienced before. She is completely helpless and dependent on Ben and me. There is absolutely nothing she has done or can do to earn my love, and yet it is hers. No matter how many hours of sleep I lose or how many diapers I have to change, it is hers. I can’t get enough of her! I desire to be with her all of the time-talking to her, teaching her, reading to her, comforting her, and just holding her. She is the first person who hasn’t had to “earn” my love over time. Because she’s my daughter, I love her unconditionally. Period.
As I realized this transformation in the way I love, it dawned on me that this is exactly the way God feels about me, His daughter. He can’t get enough of me! He desires to spend endless hours with me-talking to me, gazing at me, teaching me, and comforting me. There is nothing I have ever done or can do to earn His love; in fact, there are many things I have done that would give Him just cause to not love me, yet He loves me all the more. Because I have never loved someone unconditionally from the start of the relationship, I never grasped the fullness of being loved unconditionally by God. Only by Him blessing me with a daughter of my own did this reality become clear. And for that, I am so thankful.
My beautiful daughter, Emma Kae Holmen, was born on Tuesday at 4:08 PM. She’s the most adorable baby I’ve ever seen — bias and all!
The depth of our love for Emma is amazing. I’ve looked forward to seeing a new facet of God’s love when I became a father and I now understand what it’s like to love someone not because of what they’ve done, what they’re like, but who they are — yours. God loves us not because we’ve done something to deserve it or are inherently worthy of being loved, but because He created us to be His children.
We arrived home from the hospital tonight, and Megan and I are very excited about establishing our family life at home. I’m on paternity leave until the 17th, which has been a huge blessing already and I am really looking forward to the coming week and a half.
Love from Ben, Megan, and Emma!
